


Chasing Fire

by Wolfsbane10



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-08 02:43:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6835741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfsbane10/pseuds/Wolfsbane10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's recounted as a great love story. Fierce hatred turned to passionate love. But the path to great love is hardly smooth. When a marriage proposal fails and the world is on the brink of war, how can love shine through?</p>
<p>Originally posted to FanFiction.net under my username Wolfsbane10.14.10</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Changes

 

_"_ _Will you marry me?"_

To this day, the words bounced around in her head, jarring just as much as they had when James first uttered them. What had he been thinking?

It was easy to rationalize the thoughts of James Potter because he simply didn't think. He lived life based on instinct and feeling. He wasn't afraid of commitment. He just hadn't realized quick enough how much she ran from it.

Lily Evans had never been one to claim perfection. She had just as many flaws as the next person, and quite possibly more than most. But she'd always feared commitment—it was part of the reason she turned Potter down for so many years before finally giving in to his persistence. Fear of commitment and the fact that he was a prat. Lily smiled to herself, imagining the smirk he would have shot at her if he knew her thoughts. James Potter was proud, reckless, and loyal to a fault. She had every reason in the world to love him. She  _did_  love him to a certain extent.

But she wasn't ready for marriage; not with a war brewing on the horizon. A war that James Potter must know about.

His father was across the room from her now.

She'd never met him in the context of being his son's girlfriend. She'd never actually spoken to him. Moody had introduced her when they'd first entered; but she'd just smiled and shook his hand, waiting for a flash of recognition to cross his face. His expression hadn't changed a bit, though James must have told his parents about her. Lily had unobtrusively made her way over to the far side of the room.

Seeing Howard Potter brought back all the memories she'd been suppressing. Lily desperately tried to focus on the conversation happening beside her, but it wasn't working.

_"_ _Will you marry me?"_

Would he come? Lily hadn't expected to run into James Potter here. To her knowledge, she was the only one of her year in Hogwarts that knew of this meeting. She was probably the only one that knew Dumbledore was gathering a select group of individuals to combat the growing threat.

"Quit looking like you've seen a ghost." Moody growled in her ear, a scowl permanently etched into his features.

"It's similar enough." She hissed back. It was true that James was the spitting image of his father. Her eyes never left Howard Potter, but she was aware of Moody's every move. He might just make her prove her worth in some dramatic fashion in the middle of this meeting.

"He's not coming." Now she did look at Moody, finding a hint of sympathy in his eyes. "Howard doesn't want his son involved."

"James won't be happy." Lily spoke before remembering that she was back to calling him 'Potter'.

"He was accepted for auror training." Moody shrugged. "He'll get here soon enough whether Howard likes it or not. Dumbledore won't let that talent go to waste." He paused pointedly. "I trust it won't be an issue."

"Never, sir." Her temper flared at the implication, but Lily bit her tongue and turned her scowl towards the room. She wasn't a child anymore. She had no excuse to start shouting at Moody.

Quiet spread abruptly through the small gathering. Albus Dumbledore wandered in through the doorway, looking no more perturbed than ever. This could have been a holiday gathering to him for all his face said. Everyone else was looking very serious. Lily watched her former Headmaster, wondering what he thought of her standing amongst so many elite aurors.

"How serious is all of this?" Someone asked, sounding dubious. "This was all very secretive, Dumbledore. I don't like it."

"If you don't like it, Mr. Hodge, then you are free to leave." Dumbledore said, settling with graceful ease in the chair they'd all been avoiding at the head of the long table. Lily stayed standing in the corner with Moody. Mr. Hodge fidgeted for a moment, flushing deep red.

"Is this to truly be behind the Ministry's back?" He asked.

"Have we any more information on this guy?" Howard demanded, shooting a scowl at Mr. Hodge.

"His name is Tom Riddle." Dumbledore answered, surveying them again. "He chooses to be called Voldemort."

"'Flight of death'?" Someone beside her whispered scornfully, accent French. "Pretentious snob."

"He gathers allies among pureblood families. His stance is undeniably muggle-hatred." Why was Dumbledore staring at her? Was Lily the only muggle born witch in the room? She kept from shifting in discomfort by force of will alone.

"They like him; even call him 'Lord'." Fabian Prewett stated, eyes on the table rather than on the room. "He's…intimidating."

"You've met him?" Howard's voice was incredulous.

"Don't be surprised if they show up on your doorstep, Potter!" Fabian barked, leaping to his feet. "Your blood's as pure as mine!  _Purer!_  Why would he not recruit among your family?"

"How dare you?" Howard hissed, eyes flashing.

"Oh not  _you_ , you stupid old bat. But that son of yours? He's rash—"

"No." Her denial was harsh, striking an odd note in the brewing fight. Both men looked at her. "James wouldn't." The strength of her conviction turned her voice into a whip. "He would be here, ready to fight this, if he knew. Him and his friends." Lily glared beyond Prewett to Dumbledore. Why had he not invited the Marauders to this meeting? Why was it just her?

"His girlfriend, are you?" Fabian sneered.

"I was." She said shortly, feeling her face heat in a blush.  _Now_  there was recognition in Howard, as well as a faint bit of surprise.  _Displeasure?_  She wasn't sure. "But I don't see what my love life has to do with this meeting."

"The ink is still drying on her diploma! What do you really expect she can do?" He looked to the others for support and found it. Lily's blush deepened.

"She's worth more than six of you." Moody's declaration silenced them. He wasn't known for being overly generous with praise. Lily hadn't known him for long, but this was the first time he'd ever complimented her. Dumbledore let the silence linger, regarding the room with a fond smile.

"What  _do_  we know?" Dedalus Diggle asked finally.

"There have been disappearances."

"Coincidence?"

"There's no such thing." Lily spoke at the same time Moody did. It caused a second moment of silence, though this time it didn't linger. Lily vowed not to open her mouth again.

"Too many for coincidence anyway. And it's getting worse. It used to just be the occasional person missing, but now it's almost daily."

"How many followers does he have?" No one knew.

"Where do they operate from?" No one knew that either, though a few had guesses.

From what Lily could tell, all they had was a name and record of many disappearances and some unexplained deaths. Too many to call chance. Her chest tightened with fear and anticipation. She wanted to turn to James—to tell him that this was exactly why marriage was a bad idea. She wished he hadn't asked, because she wanted to be able to curl up in his arms after this. Even if she couldn't tell him about the meeting, she could voice her fears.

_And what are you afraid of?_  Lily shifted to lean against the wall, wondering if she was going mad. She could hear his voice as easily as if he were standing beside her.  _You were the top of your class._

_Only because you didn't bother with books._  She snorted at the voice in her head. He could have beaten her out with a sneeze of effort, but James never cared for tests and structured learning. She admired his dedication for learning things that meant something.

_You and I, Lils; there's nothing we can't beat._  He would say with his signature grin in place. She would roll her eyes at his overconfidence, but be glad for it at the same time.

The meeting ran smoothly around her. As different people started to contribute, more details began to emerge. Someone drew a sketch of his followers—they all wore the same dark robes; the same silver masks. The auror department had been tracking their movements over the last few months. They did not have an exact location of Voldemort's headquarters, but there were several guesses. The men in cloaks did nothing to hide the pattern of their movements.  _Short-sighted_ , several of them snorted, Lily among them. It was decided that teams would be sent out to each location. For now, they would focus on gathering as much information as possible.

Howard Potter and Moody walked out together with Lily trailing along behind. They were old friends—or were as close to it as Moody's sensibilities would allow—and Lily was to follow Moody until she'd convinced them all she could stand on her own two feet.

They went out to a crowded pub, using the deafening chatter to their advantage. Lily and Howard ordered beers. Moody drank from his own flask.

"I trust this won't be an issue?" Howard asked, looking at her with one eyebrow cocked. He was so much like his son it was amazing.

"I'm not some weeping bitch to get caught up over a boy." She snapped, flushing again. " _No_ , it won't be an issue!"

"He did say you have a temper." Howard shrugged off her shout, lifting his glass to her and Moody before drinking. Lily rolled her eyes at him. "I'm too old to go chasing after youngsters, friend."

"Look spritely enough to me." She muttered under her breath. Both men pretended not to hear.

"Evans can pull her weight." In a hushed whisper, Moody told him about the incident at Christmas. Lily closed her eyes, remembering both the good and the bad.

* * *

_"_ _Are you sure you have to go?" James whined, fingers entwined through hers still._

_"_ _I'm very sure." Lily said, trying to sound stern. She failed utterly. The more he begged and teased her about staying, the more she didn't want to leave. "I should have cut my hair." She muttered, using her free hand to try to tame her wild red locks._

_"_ _But I like it." He pouted, burying his free hand in the hair at the nape of her neck. Warmth ran through her in stark contrast to the freezing winds._

_"_ _We've had this conversation before, haven't we?" She grinned up at him. She'd mentioned cutting her hair as she'd dressed this morning after catching sight of herself in his mirror. She caught the wicked gleam in his eye seconds before he kissed her. Lily molded herself to him, arms twining around his neck. Why hadn't she given in sooner? Why did she insist on leaving?_

_Right. It was because of this right here. This all-consuming desire; the need to be close to him; to never let go. She was losing control of herself and her emotions._

_Lily drug herself back, weaseling out of his arms before it occurred to him to haul her off to some dark corner. She grinned, tossing her hair over her shoulder. James pouted, but it was playful and she knew he didn't want to keep her from her family. She gave him one last, lingering kiss before boarding the train. There were still a few minutes left before it would leave, but she would do something stupid if she stayed near James—like invite him home with her. She hadn't asked, and he'd been nice enough to not assume he was going with her. He hadn't even asked to come; though she'd heard him asking Remus if he_ should _ask her. Lily hadn't heard the answer, but it clearly ended with the right advice._

_She closed her eyes, relaxing in her lone compartment. Most people were staying at school this year. Parents were afraid of their children coming home, there had been so many unexplained disappearances recently. Safety was near Albus Dumbledore. Those who weren't afraid were on the train with her, but Lily had locked her door and dropped the curtain over the window so no one could see her in here alone. She was safe and comfortable for the long ride ahead. She had a book for company, and her thoughts were swimming with James Potter._

* * *

_"_ _Lily! Oh, sweetie, I've missed you so much." Her mother enveloped her in a hug as soon as Lily walked through the door._

_"_ _I've missed you too, mum."_

_"_ _I'm so sorry we couldn't be there at the station." She drew back, apologetic. "So much to do for tonight! Lily, you really ought to cut your hair. Don't they have hairdressers at your school?" Lily flushed, trying to flatten her hair subconsciously._

_"_ _I'll just put my stuff in my room." She muttered._

_"_ _You'll put make-up on too? Vernon is coming over for supper, and it isn't seemly to go without." Her mother smiled brightly, touching her cheek softly. "I've missed you so much."_

_"_ _I'll go do that." Lily said through her teeth, wondering if her smile looked as forced as it felt. She went upstairs, tossing her bag on the bed before she noticed the owl in the window. It was James' midnight black Orion. She rolled her eyes, but took the letter and read it, holding off the desire to shred it for sheer spite._

_Lily,_

_I promise I won't be a pest, but in your haste to run off I didn't get a chance to wish you happy holidays. Have fun with your family. Miss you already_

— _James_

_p.s. I still think your hair is beautiful just the way it is._

_Oh how she hated that boy! Lily pressed her hand to her mouth, holding back tears with a will. How could he get her stomach fluttering with just a stupid letter? She sat on her bed for a long minute, clutching his letter and wondering at the effort of obtaining a broom to get herself back to Hogwarts._ 'In your haste to run off'. _So he saw right through her. Lily couldn't help but smile. Was this what love felt like? She didn't want to love him…not yet. But she was warm and fuzzy inside from his letter. James would love her no matter what her hair looked like. He wouldn't care if she wore make-up or not._

_Lily rose eventually, knowing that she should write back but not knowing what to say. So she put it off, giving Orion a treat before finding make-up and fixing herself up to please her mother._

_"_ _Lily-pad!"_

_"_ _Dad." She turned with a warm smile, hugging him tightly._

_"_ _Your mother said you'd arrived. Was the cabbie nice?"_

_"_ _Yes, it wasn't a big deal." Lily held off from saying that she'd almost not been able to pay the man. Muggles would not understand wizarding money._

_"_ _I'm so sorry we couldn't pick you up. It's just crazy with all the family coming here for the holidays this year." He smiled, pushing her back to arms' length. "You look wonderful, Lils; but you really should get your hair cut. Do you want me to make you an appointment with David?"_

_"_ _No, it's fine." Lily waved him off, jaw clenched against the desire to scream. "I've just been on a train for several hours. I'll tame it down."_

_"_ _Just let me know if you change your mind." His smile was very genuine. "It's so good to have you home. We miss you so much."_

_"_ _I know." She thought of James' letter and smiled for real._ He _liked her hair. "I'll be down in a bit." She turned as he left, fetching a bit of paper._

_James,_

_I did not run off, thank you very much. I simply knew that if I lingered you'd get it in your head to find a dark closet and then I'd miss the train or leave you to suffer. I wouldn't want you to suffer. I'll be back sooner than you think._

— _Lily_

_p.s. my parents disagree with your assessment of my hair._

_She gave the letter to Orion, leaning out the window to watch the owl fly away. Was it wrong of her to wish she could follow when she'd only just arrived?_

_Lily changed into one of the dresses housed in her closet, knowing that her parents would want her to dress nice. It would paint a picture of perfection. She strapped her wand to her calf, unwilling to go without it even at home, before walking back downstairs. Petunia was hanging off her fiancée, laughing politely at a joke he was finishing. Lily wondered what it was about Vernon that Petunia found so attractive. He was a big, beefy man with a proud mustache who always seemed to drink too much and talk too loud. But he was_ normal _. So normal it was painful._

_Lily was not permitted to mention magic in front of him. Vernon was never to know that she was a freak. Between him and Petunia, Lily hardly had to contribute to the dinner conversation. Vernon went on and on about a drill company he was starting with and all of his plans to make it bigger and better. Petunia was a-flutter over the upcoming wedding, chatting all about colors and table settings. Lily nodded and smiled as much as she could. She thought of James when she couldn't manage a smile anymore. There would be time enough later to tell her parents about him._

_Vernon, it seemed, was something of a fixture in the house these days. Petunia hadn't moved out, and they were both very proud to not be living together before being married. It was a perfectly normal thing to do. They boasted about waiting for marriage—Petunia must have mentioned her virginity at least four times a day. A handful of times, comments had been aimed at Lily concerning her purity. She'd blushed and stammered each time, which was enough to make her parents believe she wasn't fooling around with anyone. But she'd been sleeping with James since they started dating—sharing the Heads' dorm made it very convenient—and the whole relationship had started with one drunk night. She couldn't imagine_ not _sleeping with him. She couldn't fathom Petunia's pride._

_As Christmas approached, Lily fretted and worried over her gift for James. She was afraid of over-doing it. But she thought that he would be extravagant with his gift to her, so she didn't want to fall utterly short either. His gifts through the years had varied in extremes, and she had no reason to think this year would be any different. Her first instinct had been to get him something quidditch related, but it seemed shallow and easy. A book would be silly, because he hardly read anyway._

_Finally, she'd settled on making something herself and giving it to him; similar to the charm work she'd done as a gift to Slughorn last year. She'd done all the work at Hogwarts, and had the finished sculpture sitting on her desk. Was it good? Was it too much? Four figures chased each other around a swaying tree—a wolf, a dog, a stag, and a rat. They were charmed to turn into figures of each of the four Marauders based on the phases they'd keyed into the Map._

_Lily wondered if she ought to hold onto the piece for now since she hadn't openly admitted to her knowledge of their secrets. She'd known for years that they were trying to become animagus—and doing so very illegally—and had watched the grounds every full moon. They were crazy and foolish, but Lily had to admire the depth of their friendship._

It's safe _. She told herself, wrapping the statue carefully._ He'll know that I know, and he can come to terms with it while I'm not there _. Short of returning to Hogwarts early, Lily couldn't think of a better gift for him. She sent it off with Orion, nervous still. She really should look into purchasing her own owl. In the handful of letters they'd exchanged, Lily had mentioned needing to borrow Orion to deliver his gift. James had send her gift early but added that unspeakable horrors would happen if she tried to open it early. She believed him capable of setting a time-sensitive prank on her gift. So the modest package stayed on her desk, taunting her._

_She left the package, wandering down the stairs to the loud complaints of Vernon Dursley. He abhorred Christmas carolers—he seemed to dislike anything remotely joyful—and was not taking to their tradition of going out and singing carols gracefully. This year, Petunia was complaining about it too. But their parents would have none of the refusal. If Vernon didn't want to go, that was his business. The family_ would _go enjoy their tradition. Lily said nothing against the idea, half-thinking this would be her last year spending Christmas Eve with her muggle family._

_Vernon came along, though he sulked and didn't sing. It was just as well in Lily's opinion. Surely a voice that rough wouldn't sing sweetly. They were at the far end of the neighborhood, aiming for the last house of the block that was at least half a mile from the rest of the houses. Vernon's complaints were loud, but her parents were quite fond of the old widow who lived alone in that house. And truthfully, Lily loved her too. She'd spent many a day in summers past making this trek to laze away the afternoon with Mrs. Tilly._

_She was lagging behind, hoping distance would make Vernon's voice more bearable. She caught the faint sound of snickering before a flash of bright red light flew in front of her face, missing her nose by inches. Lily yelped, jumping back. A second spell hit her, throwing her four feet. She landed painfully, scraping her elbow and knee raw. She heard Petunia scream._

_Through eyes streaming tears, Lily saw four cloaked figures approaching her family. A fifth was coming at her. Instinct screamed at her to move. She rolled, ripping her wand from her leg in the process._

_"_ _Stupefy!" She shouted, nailing the guy in the chest. Petunia was dangling in the air, screaming and trying to keep her dress from falling. Her father was a lump on the ground; her mother was running, screaming at the top of her lungs. Vernon was thrown back six feet into a tree._

_Rage like nothing she'd ever felt consumed her. It erased all sensation of pain and fear at this random attack. She fired off silent spells at the cloaked figures, infuriated by their laughter. As one they turned to face her. Petunia dropped like a stone. Lily caught her with a quick charm, saving her sister from bashing into the ground head-first. Then she was too busy dodging curses to notice what her family was doing._

_Masked and cloaked, Lily noted of the attackers. She hadn't the faintest clue who they were, or why they chose to attack muggles._ You picked the wrong family _. She thought savagely, too angry to care about how badly she was outnumbered. Surprise was the only thing working for her. But years spent fighting James were paying off. She was quick on her feet and had them all stumbling in cursing in minutes._

_As she was wondering about taking at least one hostage, they seemed to come to a unanimous decision that the fun was over. They apparated away before Lily realized what was happening. She cursed under her breath, running over to her family with one eye on the quiet street. Had no one noticed that?_

_A dark figure limped towards them—a rapid limp. Lily whirled around, wand leveled._

_"_ _Who are you?" She barked._

_"_ _Alastor Moody." Came the answer. He stepped into the light of a street lamp, looking every bit of the man she'd seen in the paper. His face was scarred, and the limp would be the leg he lost recently to a duel with dark wizards._

_"_ _The auror?" She scowled at him, nerves strung tight. "How do I know you're not lying?"_

_"_ _Constant vigilance!" He nodded sharply. "You got a good instinct girl. Are you seventeen?"_

_"_ _Yes." Lily said warily._

_"_ _Good. I hate dealing with Ministry brats over underage magic." He continued his approach, unconcerned with the wand she hadn't lowered. "Who are you?"_

_"_ _Lily." He stopped a few feet from her, looking her up and down._

_"_ _Evans?" Moody guessed, eyebrows raised. "Potter's kid never shuts up about a girl named Lily Evans. Looks a lot like you in pictures."_

_"_ _You know James?" She faltered, wand tip dropping a few inches._

_"_ _I worked with his father before Howard retired."_

_"_ _None of this means…" Lily stopped herself, blowing out an aggravated breath. What did it matter if this man was Alastor Moody or not? She kept a wary eye on him, though she turned back to her scattered family. She revived her father with a quick spell, checking to make sure he was coherent before going towards Petunia and Vernon._

_"_ _Don't touch him!" Petunia shrieked, leaping in front of her unconscious fiancé with her arms spread. "Get away from me, you freak! This is your fault!"_

_"_ _Petunia—"_

_"_ _Freak!"_

_Lily jerked away, throat constricted with a desire to cry. She was acutely aware of Moody's stare. Embarrassment and shame made it hard to breathe._

_"_ _Who were those people?" Her father asked. "You really need to think about the crowd you're hanging out with, because those friends—"_

_"_ _They are not my friends!" Lily exploded, sparks flying from the tip of her wand. "Merlin's beard, dad! Just because they're wizards doesn't mean I know who the fuck they are!"_

_"_ _Language, Lily." He scolded._

_"_ _Dad."_

_"_ _You shouldn't go back to that school." He persisted, getting to his feet unsteadily. "If that's the kind of thing you people do…"_

_"_ _It's not." She hissed. "I don't know what that was, dad; but it's not normal."_

_"_ _You need to leave!" Petunia shouted, stalking towards them. "Dad, make her leave!"_

_"_ _Pet…" Her dad sighed, pressing a hand to his face. "Lils…" It wasn't fair._

_"_ _This isn't my fault." She whispered, noticing too late that Moody had moved closer. She'd forgotten to watch him. Before she had a chance to flinch, he had her elbow in a tight grip. His side-along apparation was possibly the most uncomfortable she'd ever experienced. It felt like her stomach was left behind. She stumbled when he released her and almost threw up._

_They were standing outside of Hogs Head. Lily blinked at the rickety building, surprised. Moody strode forward, and she followed against her better judgment. The inside was as dingy as the outside, but it was completely deserted._

_"_ _Aberforth!" Moody barked, throwing himself into a chair. A man appeared from the back, white hair tied up and trailing a goat._

_"_ _Moody, what brings you down here at this hour?"_

_"_ _Get the kid a drink." He nodded to her, fishing a flask from beneath his cloak. Lily sat cautiously, wondering if she ought to trust anything from this place. But adrenaline was leaving her, and pain was starting to filter through her awareness. Her elbow was raw and her knee was still bleeding. She had a few other cuts she didn't remember getting. Lily winced as she sat, and accepted the beer gratefully. Aberforth did not linger in the room._

_"_ _Why did you bring me here?" Lily asked._

_"_ _You have any formal training in dueling?" His gaze was sharp._

_"_ _Nothing formal." She hedged._

_"_ _Informal?"_

_"_ _There may or may not be an underground dueling club at Hogwarts." Lily shrugged._

_"_ _Follow the news at all?"_

_"_ _I skim the Prophet." Again, she shrugged slightly. "I don't read in depth, though." James tended to, however; and he'd told her plenty about the dangers outside the walls of Hogwarts._

_"_ _There have been disappearances recently." He leaned forward intently. "Too many for sheer chance, and the Ministry's keeping it hushed up. But the reports speak of men in cloaks and masks."_

_"_ _Like the ones that went after my family?" She frowned. Moody nodded solemnly. "People have talked about it not being very safe anymore, but no one really has anything of substance to say. Just…people vanishing."_

_"_ _There's people gathering. They've a leader, we think. Don't know who just yet, but it's much more than the Ministry and Prophet would have you think."_

_"_ _James has hinted at that." Lily said. "But what does it have to do with me? I still don't understand why you brought me here."_

_"_ _It is going to come to war." Moody spoke very quietly. "Now. There's a legal way to get involved in the fight." He paused deliberately. "Or you slip through the back door and not get caught up in Ministry bullshit. You'll waste years digging out of the paperwork if you go into auror training."_

_"_ _What's the other way?" She asked, intrigued despite herself._

_"_ _Dumbledore is pulling together his own force. Free of the corruption of the Ministry. I'll take you with me; train you on the fly. You have the instinct."_

_"_ _It's not suicide?" Lily wondered, frowning. "Training on the fly?"_

_"_ _Evans, you held your own against five at once with not an ounce of training. You tell me." He sat back, arms crossed. She thought about it, frowning. She hadn't really known what she wanted to do after Hogwarts. James had been trying to talk her into auror training, but there was a lot to go through before even thinking about taking assignments. She hadn't been sold on the idea until this moment in the wake of being attacked._ If I were better trained, better prepared then it might not have happened. I could have protected them better.

_She drummed her fingers on the table. She had been part of the brains behind the dueling club—she and her friends had started it with some Ravenclaw girls. Once the Marauder's caught wind of it, the idea had spread like wildfire. They'd been dueling the last three years, and Lily had consistently been one of the best. Especially towards the end of sixth year when James had started coaching her. When some of the duels became doubles, they fought together. They were undefeated, even when fighting five-on-two._

_"_ _I need more training." She said quietly, not wanting to be over-confident. "But I want to fight."_

_"_ _Watch for my owl." Moody rose, limping out without a backward glance._

_"_ _But—wait!" He was gone with a crack. Lily scowled at the empty night air. What had she gotten herself into?_


	2. Beginnings

It was her first real mission. Lily was a bundle of nervous excitement as she braided her hair and twisted it into place. Moody had threatened to chop it all off, though she'd promised to get it completely out of the way. She wouldn't get herself killed over a few loose hairs. His scowl had been fierce, but neither man said a word when she walked into the room. Howard was there reviewing the plan. Lily joined him, determined to not be dead weight. Worried that the handful of training sessions she'd had with Moody wouldn't be enough to prepare her for this mission.

"Simple observation." Moody said, looking between them. "No fancy moves. No heroics."

"Spare us the speech." Howard snorted. "It's going to be a long night. That's what I know." Lily nodded, leading the way from her flat. She wasn't completely sure how her new flat had become their meeting place—maybe they both knew she wouldn't want anything to do with the Potter mansion and Moody didn't trust his shadow with the location of his house. It had been acutely embarrassing to let Howard through the door, and the silence had been unbearable until Moody showed up.

But now they were moving through the dark night, silent as the shadows. The only sound had been the pop of their apparation, but Moody took them to a place that was a good seven kilometers from their destination. Talking was forbidden, of course, so they marched in tense silence. After a while, Howard started muttering under his breath—to quiet for Moody to hear, but he was on her heels. Lily picked out only a few words, but it sounded like he was complaining that he was "too old for this nonsense." She smiled to herself. James would have muttered in much the same way.

Finally, they came near to the house. Lily's heart took off with adrenaline. There was a crowd of people in the lawn, dressed in long dark robes. It was too dark to see faces, though they might have worn masks even in this secret meeting. Moody signaled for her and Howard to go around back. They went carefully, hesitant to make even the slightest sound. Lily counted ten people clustered in the front lawn. Four more were in the back. They weren't close enough to make out the whisper of conversation happening in the lawn.

"This is bad." Howard whispered in her ear. She nodded without taking her eyes from the four.

"I think I know them." She murmured, more to herself than to Howard.

" _Know_  them?"

"From Hogwarts." Lily eased forward. "They were Slytherin…I think." One looked painfully familiar. His robes were distinctive—shabbier than those of his companions. She would have continued slipping forward if Howard hadn't grabbed her arm.

"Enough." He hissed softly. "Let's find Moody." Jaw clenched, Lily slipped after him. Anger pulsed through her, though she told herself it shouldn't be surprising. Severus had turned to this sort of crowd in the last few years, and she knew him well enough to recognize him even hooded and cloaked in the dark. As she was considering ways to curse him without causing permanent damage, shouts erupted somewhere beyond the house.

"Moody!" For an instant, Lily forgot it wasn't James beside her. He'd taught her to go running headfirst into trouble. She sprang forward; knowing that Moody had been caught snooping; forgetting that he'd ordered them to leave as soon as trouble started. No matter what. Howard was right beside her—clearly he'd forgotten that particular order as well. Or maybe he'd never cared.

They worked in unison, firing and blocking spells in turn. Lily quickly found that Howard was as good of a partner as James in a fight. She wondered if Howard taught his son to duel. Moody was shouting at them. The words were incoherent in Lily's ears. She didn't have the experience to focus on more than the rapid-fire curses.

"Let's go!" Howard shouted at her, blocking a violet colored curse in the process. She nodded once. The sharp crack of Howard's apparation was drowned out by a scream from across the field.

" _Moody!_ " He flew backwards six feet, and she knew he was unconscious before he even hit the ground. Lily sprinted forward, shouting " _Stupefy!_ "

"Lily!" Severus' agonized cry came from behind her, and in that moment, she couldn't have cared less about their past friendship. She shot a curse towards him—or at least in the direction she thought his voice came from.

" _Sectumsempra!_ " She shouted, hitting the figure closest to Moody. She dove for him. It felt like sometime struck her side. " _Moody!_ " He was out cold, bleeding profusely from his left eye. Her entire left side felt like it was burning. Severus was screaming her name. Lily latched onto Moody, concentrating with all her might. She apparated with him, reflexively going to her flat. That was the plan.

"Lily!" The world was spinning dangerously. Had she gotten splinched?

"He's…hurt." She gasped out as hands reached out to keep her from falling. Her stomach rebelled. She pressed her hands to her stomach in an effort to keep herself from vomiting. Her hands came away bloody.

"What happened?" The man supporting her demanded as he lowered her to the floor.

"J-James?" It looked so much like him, but the eyes were all wrong. Tears gathered in her eyes because she missed him so desperately it hurt. Why did he have to screw everything up? The man leaning over her was talking, but Lily's ears roared. Darkness swamped her vision and she knew no more.

* * *

_"_ _Hi Evans."_

_"_ _No." She said without looking up from the paper in her hands. Potter paused for a beat._

_"_ _Hello Evans." He repeated, leaning casually against the compartment door. This time, she glanced up at him with an arched brow._

_"_ _What?" Lily demanded crossly._

_"_ _I just said 'hi'." He said mildly. "Is there a problem with saying hello to your fellow Head?"_

_"_ _Hello, Potter." She grumbled, looking back down at the duty sheet in her hands. It wasn't a surprise to see him standing there. She'd gotten Remus' owl of forewarning after the letters had been sent. Though disappointed, Lily hoped the year wouldn't be terrible. Potter hadn't been as bad as usual at the end of last term._

_"_ _How was your summer?"_

_"_ _Fine." She perched on the bench, staring determinedly at the paper. If she ignored him enough, surely he'd go off to his friends for the brief time prior to the prefects meeting. There was a poignant pause._

_"_ _My summer was great, thanks for asking." Potter announced, annoyance creeping into his voice. "Look, Evans, I know you hate me, but we are going to have to work together this year."_

_"_ _I don't hate you." She disagreed mildly, still without looking at him. Except now he had her full attention._

_"_ _Oh?" How could a person layer so much meaning into one syllable? She let it hang in the air without elaborating. He wasn't wrong to question her statement. "The giant squid not working out for you?"_

_"_ _We have our differences sometimes." She shrugged, fighting off a grin. "We'll work it out, I'm sure."_

_"_ _I dunno, Evans. Clinging to bad relationships like that." Potter shook his head. "Sets a bad example for the little kiddies, you know."_

_"_ _I'm not going out with you." Lily snapped, anticipating his next statement._

_"_ _I haven't asked you in months, have I?" He frowned at her._

_"_ _No." She agreed cautiously. Finally, she looked up at him, confused by his irritation. Potter looked no different than usual—his black hair was a mess, glasses covered bright, hazel eyes; eyes that were full of mischief. His robes fit no different and he hadn't gained more muscle or lost extra fat. He looked the exact same. So why did he seem more mature?_

_"_ _As I said, we have to work together this year, right? You are Head Girl."_

_"_ _Obviously." Lily couldn't help but roll her eyes at him. This time, he grinned. "It's not my fault I have expectations where you're concerned, Potter."_

_"_ _No, I've been a prat." He shrugged loosely. "And I'm sorry."_

_"_ _An apology?" She rocked back, both eyebrows going up. "I'm impressed, Potter, and I accept your apology." His eyes light up, though still he said nothing about going out. Lily couldn't help but smile. "And I'm sorry for being a brat just now."_

_"_ _Only now?" He winked, moving to plop down on the same bench. "I'll take what I can get, and I deserved every bit of that, Ev—Lily." She started at the sound of her name coming from him. "So what is it that we're supposed to be doing?"_

_"_ _Supervising mostly." She sighed, leaning back in what she hoped was a casual manner. "I mean, prefects do most of the work. We just have to make sure they're actually doing what they're supposed to."_

_"_ _Sounds rough."_

_"_ _We're leading orientation to their duties in…ten minutes."_

_"_ _Should we have a good old fight?" Potter asked slyly. "Just to remind them of your temper."_

_"_ _Why the bloody hell would we do that?"_

_"_ _We'll get more cooperation if they're afraid of us." He winked broadly, and she rolled her eyes again._

_"_ _You're a terrible influence." She grumbled. "And you talk about me!" Perhaps for the first time ever, they laughed together and it wasn't hateful to stand beside him during the meeting. There were no unexpected pranks, no nonsense, and no immaturity. Lily went to find her friends in something of a daze. She vowed to ask Remus if something had happened to Potter over the summer._

_The opportunity was a week later thanks to separate housing for the Heads. Lily wasn't sure what to think of sharing a dorm with Potter, though he hadn't done anything unreasonable yet. When asked, Remus just gave her a sideways look like he had no idea what she was talking about._

_"_ _He matured?" Remus had said with an undeniable level of skepticism. "I dunno what to tell you, Lily. He's still the same guy."_

_She hadn't pressed the issue; hadn't accused Remus of being deliberately obtuse. Maybe he really hadn't noticed. But there was definitely something different about Potter, and it was a good sort of different. Maturity was definitely part of it, but he also seemed to have a level of self-awareness that had been lacking before. Or maybe it was an awareness and empathy for others. Oh, there were still Marauder's pranks, even just a few weeks into the year, but they were tasteful and teasing. Lily found amusement in them, even when she was one of the "victims."_

_She found herself thinking of Potter constantly, almost consumed by the changes in him. She wanted desperately to hate him for taking over her thoughts and dreams, but she couldn't. She was irritated with herself._

_"_ _Lily." A hand shot out to catch her elbow. She jumped a foot, whirling to find Severus behind her. She should know better than to wander through the dungeons this late, but she hadn't anticipated Slughorn keeping her for so long. "How are you?"_

_"_ _I'm fine." She answered, eyeing the hand he left on her arm. "But I really should be going. I have duties—"_

_"_ _I've missed you." He blurted._

_"_ _Don't do this."_

_"_ _I'm sorry! Lily, please understand—"_

_"_ _Understand?" She snorted, trying to step back. He followed her until she backed herself into the wall. "Sev, I understand just fine. Your friends hate muggleborns, and you think the same thing about every muggleborn except me! I can't be some exception to the rule. I_ am _muggleborn. I am a mudblood, Snape."_

_"_ _It's Potter." He sneered, eyes flashing. "Talking to you—"_

_"_ _I don't need Potter to make my every decision!" She shouted. "Merlin's beard, when have I_ ever _given anything he says the time of day? You're just as much of a jealous prat as he is! I'm not a prize, Sev." To her complete surprise, he stepped forward and kissed her. She stiffened, trying to jerk back but was caught between the wall and the hand he had wrapped around her neck. The kiss was sloppy and entirely unwelcome. Lily was incredibly aware of how bad his breath smelled._

_"_ _Let go!" She tried to say, shoving against his chest. In all the time she'd known him, Lily had never once considered any sort of romantic relationship with Severus Snape. And now he wouldn't let go. The thought that he might not stop flashed through her mind, and she was terrified that she might be right. She grabbed her wand, firing a silent stunning spell that threw him against the far wall. Lily didn't waste a moment. She bolted down the corridor, fearing that his friends might be lurking somewhere._

_She ran into no one on the long sprint back to the Heads' dorm. She burst through the portrait hole, gasping for breath with her hair frizzed out around her face. All four Marauders went leaping to their feet, none so fast as Potter. Emotion caught up to her then, and she crumpled—right into Potter's arms. Lily hated herself for crying, but she couldn't help it._

It's Potter, isn't it? _Snape's words replayed in her head. Was there a grain of truth to it? Her arms were tight around Potter now. She'd hidden her face in the crook of his neck. She was_ glad _to have his arms around her, holding and supporting her. Was it wrong of her to change her opinion of Potter? And dimly, in a distant corner of her brain that was comparing being in the arms of two so very different men, she was aware of how good Potter smelled in comparison to Snape._

_Lily didn't completely remember how she'd gotten from being wrapped around Potter to alone in her bedroom without breathing a word of what happened. To their credit, none of them asked her directly. But over the course of the next week, Lily realized that she always had one of them in her shadow. Subtlety protecting her. It warmed her to the core. Lily didn't admit what Snape had done to any of her friends; didn't even confess her moment with James Potter. She tried to forget, but there was a piece of her that didn't want to forget. There was a piece of her that wanted to put Snape in the same sort of terrifying position she'd been in down in the dungeons. Maybe she'd overreacted. He probably wouldn't have tried to rape her, but Lily knew any of his friends would if they were so inclined. They could easily feed that poison into Snape—he was already a very different man from the boy he'd been when they were friends._

_She wanted to find a way to punish him. Punish without actually hurting, though all of her ideas were tinged with thoughts of true injury. She wasn't good at embarrassing tricks. She'd never tried to prank anyone before._

_"_ _James." He jumped a foot, looking up from his essay with wide eyes. Lily gaze at him passively, quietly thinking that he'd started a little too much. "I need your help."_

_"_ _My help?" He croaked, and then cleared his throat. "With what?"_

_"_ _A prank."_

_"_ _A…prank?" He blinked at her a few times. "Did you call me James?"_

_"_ _That is your name, isn't it?" She scowled, though her face heated. Had she ever called him by his given name?_

_"_ _I didn't know you knew it." A grin blossomed across his face, and Lily felt herself smiling in return without the conscious intention to do so. "So miss Evans, a prank, is it?"_

_"_ _Yes." She sat down on the other side of his desk, lacing her fingers together._

_"_ _Who's got you so royally pissed?" She hesitated, but he'd figure it out eventually._

_"_ _Snape." Lily said through her teeth. Surprise flitted across Potter's face, and it was quickly followed by a scowl._

_"_ _What did he do?"_

_"_ _That is none of your business." She snapped._

_"_ _Does it have anything to do with last week?" He guessed shrewdly._

_"_ _Never mind." Lily vaulted to her feet, realizing in an instant that she didn't want to go there with Potter. Snape's words had replayed like a broken record inside her head for the last week. She was aware now of just how much she'd warmed to James Potter. Enough that she'd call him James, if only once, and ask for his help._

_"_ _Hey." Potter called softly, stopping her in her tracks. "I won't ask again. Promise." He paused, and she wavered. Lily looked back at him, trying to gauge his intention. "I won't pass up an opportunity to prank Sniv—Snape."_

_"_ _Obviously." She muttered under her breath, twisting away. What did she really want from this?_

_"_ _Look, I know you're not super big on rule breaking, but why don't we nip down to Hogsmeade and have a pint at the Three Broomsticks? Not a date!" He clarified quickly. "You look like you could use something to take the edge off, and we can plan a nice prank for Snivellus."_

_"_ _It's not a date." Lily said fiercely, and he nodded emphatic agreement. It took no more encouragement than that. He bowed her from the common room and quickly took her to the seventh floor and a mirror that opened to reveal a passageway. "Secret tunnel?" She snorted, eyeing him._

_"_ _One of seven." Potter nodded like it was completely normal thing to know about. He shut the mirror behind them and led the way—either not noticing or ignoring her gaping at his back._

_It wasn't until they'd reached the end of the tunnel and were strolling into the streets of Hogsmeade that Lily fully realized what she was doing. Sneaking out wasn't the issue_ _—she'd broken plenty of rules all on her own_ _—but to stroll quite amiably with_ _James-fricken-Potter?_  That _was the problem. She_ _was honestly enjoying the comfortable silence between them as they walked towards the Three Broomsticks. It felt like a date. She knew it easily could be. He'd be the type of boyfriend to sneak her off grounds for extravagant adventures. She could learn to enjoy it._

_A pint of beer was not what she wanted. Lily went for firewhiskey, ready and willing to start a fight with Potter if he dared say something about it. She_ wanted _a fight. Instead, he matched her drink and threw it back in a single go. A challenge ensued, because Lily wasn't about to be out-drank by the likes of James Potter._

_Her head was buzzing by the time he drug her over to a secluded booth. They huddled together in it, legs touching as James went through a dozen ideas for pranks. Lily kept suggesting adding painful elements, until he accused her of having a violent nature. She ordered another shot after that comment, though this time, he didn't match her._

_"_ _Lily." His voice was low and husky. "I said I wouldn't ask—"_

_"_ _He kissed me." She blurted, looking at him quickly. Potter would react poorly, she knew. He was very still. "A-and I didn't want him to; I didn't realize he was going to. I ran into him on the way back from Slughorn's office, and he said he missed me and then he just kissed me." She looked away. "I tried to get him to stop, and he wouldn't. And I swear, it was just…gross." She shivered a bit. "His breath smelled really bad."_

_"_ _Did he hurt you?" James was tense, protectiveness riled._

_"_ _No, I stunned him." Lily shook her head, ignoring the way his mouth quirked in half a smile. "And I mean, I don't think he meant to scare me. I overreacted, really; but I wasn't sure if he was going to stop or try to push all the way."_

_"_ _You had every right to be afraid." He murmured, starting to reach for her before thinking better of it._

_"_ _It was gross." She repeated._

_"_ _And have you had many gross kisses before, Evans?" James demanded, shaking his head slightly._

_"_ _More gross than good." She wrinkled her nose at him. "Am I drunk?"_

_"_ _Probably." He snorted. "I certainly am."_

_"_ _How—" She hadn't realized how close they were. He tilted his head just slightly, lips touching hers. Lily forgot how to breathe. She responded to him, reaching to grab a fistful of his hair as he deepened the kiss, more sure of her now. She lost track of everything except the feeling of his lips against hers. She'd do anything in the world to make him kiss her again._

_Finally, James separated himself from her, pushing her very gently back. He was flushed, eyes overly bright._

_"_ _I'm sorry." He said breathlessly._

_"_ _What?" Lily blinked, confused._

_"_ _You're…drunk. I'm drunk." He ran his hands through his hair. "You wouldn't…fuck."_

_"_ _James?"_

_"_ _You wouldn't want this sober." He stated. "Would you?" Her mouth opened and closed a few times._ Would I? _"Why am I such an ass? Damn it!"_

_"_ _James, stop."_

_"_ _No!" He stood abruptly, swaying only a little. "Come on, Evans." She followed him, grabbing his hand and holding it because it seemed like an appropriate thing to do. They were halfway back when it occurred to her._

_"_ _James! James, James, James."_

_"_ _What?" He stopped abruptly, turning in the same motion. She ran right into him, forgetting everything when his hands found her waist to steady her. Lily rose on her toes and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He groaned into her mouth, pulling her flush to his body. She could spend all day like this and never get bored, she decided abruptly. "Lily…" Again, he pushed her back after a minute of heated snogging._

_"_ _I don't remember what I was going to say." She admitted sheepishly. James rolled his eyes at her, turning to continue down the passage. "Oh!"_

_"_ _Oh?"_

_"_ _Don't tell anyone." His eyes narrowed. "About Snape." Why did he relax? "It was just a kiss, nothing more. Nothing that needs to be reported."_

_"_ _If you're sure." James sighed, waiting for a moment to see if she'd change her mind. "I promise, Lily." She nodded, feeling better. He took her hand again, leading her the rest of the way through the tunnel, though he paused outside the mirror._

_"_ _James?" She questioned as he pulled a spare bit of parchment from his pocket._

_"_ _I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." He said, touching the tip of his wand to the paper. Lily gasped as ink appeared on the parchment._

_"_ _Marauder's Map?" She whispered, staring over his shoulder._

_"_ _It's not completely done." James told her, though not without a bit of pride. "We're trying to make the names move as the people do, but we can't make the charm work right. It shows where they were when you activated the map." He pointed to where they were standing, scanning for professors nearby before opening the mirror to let them out. "We weren't originally going to put names into it, but Peter thought it would be great for sneaking around."_

_"_ _Is that why Black has been joining Remus in the library recently?" Lily wondered, threading her arm through his. James grinned._

_"_ _It has nothing to do with the map." He told her solemnly. No matter how much she prodded and begged, James wouldn't say anything further. They made it safely back to the Heads' dorm. "Mischief managed."_

_"_ _Mischief managed?" Lily snorted, amazed though by the complexity of the spellwork already on the map._

_"_ _Of course."_

_"_ _So why's Black in the library?"_

_"_ _I'm not going to tell you." James laughed, shaking his head stubbornly._

_"_ _If I kiss you, will you tell me?"_

_"_ _No." Lily kissed him anyway, enjoying the way his hands trailed over her back. They were in his room by the time she decided that she'd had way too much firewhiskey. But she decided in the same thought that she didn't really care. It felt much, much too good to stop now._


	3. Partners

Lily woke slowly, groggy like she'd just drank too much firewhiskey. But that night had been at least a year ago. Or had it? She remembered it like it was yesterday.

She'd woken in his arms with a fierce hangover. Her first instinct had been to bolt, but her head had been throbbing too much and he looked so peaceful in sleep. So she'd stayed; fallen back asleep and re-woke to him kissing her. It was sweet, though as soon as they got out of bed, it became incredibly awkward. Or maybe that was just her. She'd bolted as soon as she located her clothing, and spent two weeks trying to figure out how she'd managed to end up in his bed. She hadn't known how terrible James felt about it until Remus cornered her. Hearing that James was afraid he'd practically raped her was a slap in the face. One that Lily had never forgotten. She'd cornered him in the common room that night, delivering a stern lecture about her level of consent. She'd been perfectly happy with that night. She had no regrets.

It wasn't until the morning after, when she was waking up in his arms again, that James dared to ask her out one last time. She'd said yes and hadn't had a moment's regret until he proposed.

Lily groaned under her breath, wishing she could be back in that moment, hang-over and all. She opened her eyes to a blurry surrounding of white-wash walls. A figure was slumped over in the chair beside her. For an instant, she thought it was James.

"Lily!" Howard sat up quickly, chocolate eyes wide. "Are you alright? How do you feel?"

"Groggy." Her voice was little more than a croak. She started coughing. He supported her, summoning a cup of water for her to sip. "C-confused."

"You're at St. Mungo's." He told her softly. For a brief moment, Lily was confused even more. How had she gotten in the hospital?

"Moody!" She gasped, remembering everything in a flash. Howard held her down.

"Dumbledore is with him." Howard said soothingly. "He's going to lose that eye, I think; but he's alive thanks to you."

"B-but…" Lily looked around wildly, registering the sterile room.

"Steady, kiddo." Slowly, she relaxed into the pillows, taking deep breaths.

"Is he going to be okay?"

"Moody is going to be fine." He answered, voice still pitched to sooth. Lily blinked for a second, realizing belatedly that she'd wanted the answer to be about James. She pressed her hands to her face. "The Healers say you'll be fine, too. You won't even have a scar to show off." He grinned at her, inviting her to share his humor. She grimaced. "Sleep, Evans. I need you on your feet as soon as possible."

* * *

She spent three days in the hospital after her first moment of consciousness. Lily hadn't had any visitors since Howard left, but she received word that someone would be in contact in the next few days about her next mission. She wasted time getting settled into her flat, but only managed to unpack the things she desperately needed rather than make any progress on the mess. She was staring at the rather overwhelming collection of boxes when someone knocked on her door.

She opened it to find Howard Potter standing there with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"Mind if I come in?" He asked. "I brought this." He held up the wine with a slight smile. Lily stepped to the side, waving him in.

"Can I help you?" Lily wondered, shutting and locking the door in his wake. She blushed as he surveyed the mess of her flat. "I really haven't had that much of a chance to unpack…"

"It's awkward, I know." He interrupted, setting the glasses on the only bit of her table that was clear. "Me being James' father and all, but there are some things that can't be helped, yeah?"

"Sure?" Her face felt like it was on fire.

"It's not my fault James is an idiot." Howard added, busy uncorking the wine and pouring two glasses. "Well maybe it is all things considered." He laughed to himself. "But I warned him that you'd run if he took things too fast, and now look." He passed her a glass, and Lily took a big gulp, only just managing to not choke herself.

"I see where he got the bluntness." She said hoarsely. Howard laughed freely, and she felt herself relaxing.

"The apple seems to never fall far." He winked. "I would like to speak with you, Lily, and I have a proposition for you if you're interested."

"I'm listening." She nodded, clearing off two chairs for them.

"I will admit, I'm shocked at how well you fought last week." All of the teasing was gone from him. Howard fixed her with an unblinking stare. "Shocked and very impressed."

"Ah, well…"

"James taught you, didn't he? Your style is a reflection of his; which is a reflection of mine."

"I wondered if you'd taught him." Lily admitted, battling a blush still.

"I did, much to his mother's dismay." Howard nodded, still very serious. "You are worthy of the praise Moody gave you. Now, I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable or inflate your ego. You've a ways to go still, but Moody is going to be out of commission for a while."

"I'm not going to be able to do much, am I?"

"That depends on if you and I can get along." He shrugged loosely. "I need a partner, Evans, and of the people Dumbledore's recruited, I think you're the one I'll get along with best."

"You want me as your partner?" Lily gaped, heart clenching in her chest. Could she tolerate being around a man that looked so similar to James?

"If you can stand to be around me." Howard smiled slightly, though she winced. "Everything that happened between you and James is your business. I'm not asking you based on some misguided desire to protect you on his behalf. I need a partner who's not going to run from a fight; someone who will have my back and trust me to have theirs. Moody's not wrong in thinking you have the instinct to make a fantastic auror. You've obviously got some manner of experience in dueling, but you are also very clearly not trained."

"You're contradicting yourself." Lily pointed out, frowning.

"The instinct that makes you run to a fight, instead of away, is what matters most to me." Howard told her, leaning forward. "I can't train that instinct into someone. I don't want a partner who will turn and run when things get hairy. I don't want a partner who will stand there and wait for instruction when things don't go according to plan. Last week, you demonstrated that you will come running if I'm in danger. You proved perfectly capable of taking the initiative; staying for the rescue instead of escaping to safety. Yes, Evans, I will train you before we go out on missions. I will train you even when we're taking missions. You need it."

"I know." She said faintly. "I know I do." Her head was buzzing with conflicting thoughts. He was James' father, and she wanted to escape all reminders of the man she still loved. Howard was not only directly related to James, they were practically identical in looks. But a partnership with anyone, much less an auror as experienced as Howard Potter was not something she ever dreamed would be offered to her. Especially not so early in the game. She  _wanted_  his experience and his tutelage. Howard could train her to be exactly the kind of warrior she wanted to be. It was a lot to take in all at once.

"I don't know if you still talk, but I don't want James to know about any of this." Howard's gaze was piercing. "You must know that if he gets wind of it, James won't rest until Dumbledore's brought him in too. I don't want this for James, and frankly I wouldn't want it for you; but that wasn't my choice. Moody brought you in, and you're obviously not running yet."

"I won't run." Lily snapped, offended by the thought.

"So it would seem." He paused, examining her closely. "What do you say, Evans?"

_She blinked, and it wasn't Howard staring at her. She was lying beside James, his fingers skimming lightly over her bare hip. "What do you say, Evans?" He whispered in her ear, lips ghosting over the shell. "Will you go out with me?"_

"Yes." Lily spoke aloud without quite meaning to—the same answer she'd given James. She met his father's gaze without blinking.

"Good." Howard nodded once before finishing his glass. He topped them both off and toasted her. "Partners." She echoed his motion, sipping on the wine this time rather than gulping it.

"How is James?" She asked, unable to stop herself.

"He's getting better." Howard told her with a slight shrug. "Glad to be getting started in his training. He's moved in with Sirius—a flat in London, I believe. Said he was too old to be living with us. Not that I blame him at all. Hell, I moved out sooner than he did."

"That's a bundle of trouble." Lily shook her head slightly. "Are they on the muggle side?"

"Yeah, Sirius was bent on getting as far from his roots as possible."

"His family's in on this Voldemort thing, aren't they?" She grimaced, feeling bad for him.

"The Blacks are notorious for pureblood ideology." Howard nodded glumly. "Sirius wasn't able to give me much information, but he knows they're neck deep in it."

"They wouldn't believe it if he tried to go back and spy for us." Lily frowned at her glass. "James said he was estranged between fifth and sixth year. He lived with you, didn't he?"

"Aye, he did that. Good kid." Howard drained his wine, looking around the flat again. "Have you eaten, yet?"

"Erm…"

"My wife will kill me if I don't offer to bring you over for a bite." He grinned. "She'd love to cook for you."

"Oh, it fine." Lily said hurriedly. "I don't need—"

"And what will you do instead? Take out?" He snorted. "I swear to you, James won't be there."

"I'm perfectly capable of cooking for myself." She gulped down the rest of her wine, ignoring the way it burned her throat.

"Grace will be very disappointed if you don't come over."

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" Howard just smiled. "Stubbornness runs in the family, too. Doesn't it?"

"Of course." He winked. Lily rolled her eyes, rising.

"Learn to live with disappointment, Potter." She advised, offering the glass back to him. "I have things to do here."

"By my estimate, you've had almost four days to unpack this mess." Howard told her. "Are you really going to do more than sit and stare at the wall?"

"Bugger off."

"You're going to have to come to the mansion eventually." He argued, still grinning.

"Another day." Lily crossed her arms.

"Tomorrow." Howard's grin bordered on wicked. "Waste no time, Evans."

"I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"Grace will be very disappointed." He warned, heading for the door anyway. "She'll tell you all about it in the morning." Lily rolled her eyes at his back, locking the door behind him. She wasn't mentally prepared to be around James' family right now. She wasn't ready to admit that Howard read her perfectly.

Lily curled up on her couch, staring absently at her toes and wondering what James was doing.  _How is it that I'm the one that broke up with him, and I'm here wishing it never happened?_  Tears gathered in her eyes, but she sternly forbade herself from shedding them. She would  _not_  cry over the likes of James Potter!

* * *

"Up you get, sunshine!" Lily came awake abruptly as her covers were yanked back. She sat up with a gasp and silent curse for the asshole rude enough to wake her. It missed by a wide margin. "You'll have to be quicker than that." Howard Potter taunted, flinging open her curtains.  _Insult to injury_. Lily scowled at him.

"Do locked doors mean nothing to you people?" She snarled.

"Doors without wards are an invitation." He sniffed, prancing out of her room. "Come on, sunshine! You're wasting the day!" Lily muttered rude words under her breath, dragging herself from bed. It was six in the morning.

She stomped out to the kitchen once dressed. Howard was reading through the Prophet, entirely unconcerned with her temper. Lily set the paper on fire for sheer spite, making him jump.

"You deserved that." She growled, eyes narrowed. "Shall we?"

"You're buying me a new Prophet." He grouched, twirling his wands through his fingers. "Later. For now, you're going to ward this place solid."

Lily pushed aside fatigue and irritation, focusing on the spells he described and why each was important to protect her home. She cast each, aware that he watched her like a hawk. She memorized the set of spells, guessing that they may come in handy again someday. Howard did not offer praise when she finished. He gestured her from the flat and made her cast a few more charms outside—one of which was an apparation barrier. Lily wasn't sure she was pleased about not being able to appear directly outside her door anymore, but didn't argue against his precaution.

Then, he took her to the Potter mansion via side-along apparation. It was nicer than her one time with Moody, but Lily decided she didn't much care for being drug along like that. Howard strode forward without pause, though Lily stood for a minute and just stared. Somehow, she'd never quite figured for the sheer size of this place even though everyone referred to it as a mansion. Her chest tightened.  _I can't measure up to this! Thank Merlin we broke up, because this is just…_  Lily couldn't even wrap her head around it. Sure, she knew in a vague sort of way that his family was wealthy, but this far surpassed her expectations.

Ashen, she followed Howard down the winding path to a side door. It opened into a bright, airy kitchen where three house elves flitted around preparing what appeared to be a rather extravagant meal. With them was a woman with pencil-straight red hair, whisking something and giggling over a joke one of the house elves was saying. Lily was immediately self-conscious about her hair, though it wasn't her first time meeting Grace Potter. Howard strode forward to pluck the bowl from his wife's hands, and with an apology to the house elf, bent his wife back for a long kiss. Lily flushed, jerking her gaze away before jealousy could grab her.

"Need something?" A voice at her elbow asked cheerfully. "Master James told Missy all about you."

"Did he now?" Lily croaked.

"All good things." The house elf winked broadly, and Lily had to laugh.

"Well that's awfully good of him, I suppose." She held out her hand without stopping to consider if the house elves here would like to be treated as equals. Missy grabbed her hand and shook it with enthusiasm. "It's very good to meet you, Missy." The house elf giggled and darted off to grab a plate of scones. Though not particularly hungry, Lily couldn't refuse the offer.

"Lily, dear." James' mother enveloped her in a hug like they were old friends.

"Hi…Mrs. Potter." She said awkwardly.

"Just Grace, Lily. Merlin, I've heard enough about you that I feel like I already know you!" She laughed before whirling around on her husband. "Howard, I swear, do you really make her call you  _Mr. Potter?_ "

"No!" He held up his hands, backing away. "No, not at all."

"Well." Grace huffed, spending a moment glaring at him. "I'm very sorry you couldn't come for dinner last night. I love to cook." Lily smiled guiltily, noticing Howard's smirk. "Howard said you were busy, but really; a girl's got to  _eat_. Right?"

"Right!" Missy nodded before turning large green eyes on the uneaten scone in Lily's hands. Hurriedly, Lily took a bite.

"I won't see you falling over for want of a little sustenance on those missions of yours." Grace continued, shooting a scowl at her husband. "Retirement, he says. I'm done with all that, he claims."

"That was before this guy." Howard said quietly.

"Never marry an auror, Lily." She warned, shaking her head. "The worry just never ends, and retirement is a joke. You can take a man from the service—"

Lily wasn't privy to whatever Howard said to his wife. She found she had to turn away from the intimacy of what was happening across the kitchen. They were older than her parents, but she'd known that already. Grace had a very hard time getting pregnant, and they'd all but given up hope when James came along. The very air was suffocating. How many times had James stood behind her with his arms tight around her, as Howard was holding Grace?

She retreated, unable to tolerate her swirling emotions. No wonder James was so comfortable expression emotion. No wonder he never felt the need to hold back. Lily leaned against the outside wall, trying to remember the last time she'd seen her parents hug, much less kiss. Shortly after she'd gotten her letter, once it had been explained that Hogwarts wasn't a hoax. Her dad had wrapped her mother in a hug for a long minute—relief, she knew now. They'd known she was different, and an explanation that had nothing to do with mental illness had taken a great weight from their shoulders. All shows of affection were verbal—it was just words. Sometimes they meant something. Sometimes they were empty.  _Most of the time they were empty words._  Lily thought to herself, gazing across the vast lawn.

She straightened as the door opened, adopting a calm expression by the time Howard located her behind the door. He bore an apologetic grin.

"Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He started.

"Oh, not at all." Lily waved him off, forcing herself to smile. "I just thought I'd give you some space. Grace seemed a little upset."

"I wasn't born yesterday, Evans." Howard rolled his eyes at her. "Being around your ex's parents after the kind of break up you and James had? If that's not at least a little uncomfortable for you, then you're made of ice." She flushed, dropping her gaze.

"It changes nothing." Lily said with more force than she'd intended. "I knew what I was getting into last night when I agreed." She looked at him, disappointed to find him giving her a penetrating look. It would have been easier if he let her brush it off with a smile and laugh. "Are we going to train?"

"No."

"No?" She repeated with a frown.

"We're going to talk." Howard said firmly, gesturing her back into the house. She slunk back inside, following him through a maze of hallways that eventually led into his office. Everything she could saw was ornate and reeked of old money. Lily felt small and insignificant in the face of it. "Have a seat." He gestured to the chair set in front of the desk.

Lily sat, hating the way the cushions conformed perfectly around her. It was quite possibly the most comfortable piece of furniture she'd even sat on. Rather than sit behind his desk, Howard drug the other chair around to sit beside her. He was quiet for a minute, just watching her.

"If you will grant me this moment of ego, I would tell you of myself." He started quietly. "I'm observant enough to know that you see James whenever you look at me. I am not my son, Lily."

"Sir—"

"Maybe you loved him; maybe you didn't. Right now, I don't really give a damn." Howard overrode her protest. "I'm not dealing with you as a father. Your history with James only concerns me for the impact it has on our partnership. You need to see  _me_."

"I'm not—"

"Shut up." Lily flushed with indignation, though maybe it was just as well. What could she really say? "My father was an auror—there's something about the Potter men that makes us all turn into aurors. Runs in the family. And I wanted to be just like my father growing up, though there never was a more stubborn and hard-headed man than him. I went through Hogwarts doing everything I could to prepare myself for the training. Never broke a damn rule the entire time I was there. Of course, I was accepted into the training, and my journey through it was fairly standard.

"Except, I got hit pretty bad with a curse and they sent me off to St. Mungo's for a look. I encountered the prettiest Healer-in-training while I was there, and spent the next month running into every stupid spell I could just to go back. I got quite a reputation for it. Eventually, Grace told me I was being stupid, and if I wanted to see her that much I should just ask her on a date. So I did, and well… I suppose you can figure out how that ended.

"The fate of every young auror is to push paper around a desk until someone important gets benched or killed. I was no exception to that, until Cressley got blown to bits in a freak accident. Then I took his place, partnered to old Quiach. He was very by the book and routine in his work. Boring, really. He thought I was too reckless, so I was switched over to partner with Norton.

"And they said I was reckless,  _Merlin_  that man begged for trouble…"

Howard went off at that point, eyes glassy as he remembered. Lily listened intently, grasping at any and every difference she could find between his mannerism and James'. Howard wasn't wrong that she was mentally comparing them often. Even hearing of his past wasn't changing much. Howard had gotten into many scrapes during his time as an auror, and shaved death more often than not. It had been hard on his marriage, especially after James was born. But there was love enough to go around, and he spoke fondly of his wife's worries. More than once, Howard said that Grace was the only reason he'd lived so long. He feared that James would have the same reckless nature; he worried what might happen if James didn't have someone to live for.

Howard spoke for several hours, and for most of it, Lily was enthralled. She never knew working as an auror could be quite so exciting. True, he complained about the paperwork several times, but he'd seen quite a bit through the years. His experience was daunting. But his desire to teach was just as great. They cleared away furniture eventually, discussing various spells; learning and teaching in turn.

For a moment, Lily even forgot he was James' father.


	4. The Order of the Phoenix

It wasn't good the things they'd learned. Lily stared at the papers spread across the table, feeling the same growing sense of terrible foreboding that was dawning on the faces of those around her. This was more, much more than an idle threat.

 _Grindelwald._  A few had mentioned the dark wizard in hushed whispers. This Voldemort was as bad as he had been—worse, maybe. The Ministry had responded in a paltry manner. A new Minister had been named based on fears that Eugenia Jenkins wouldn't be enough to counter the rising threat. Harold Minchum had a reputation for being unforgiving. There was talk that he had plans to increase security on Azkaban. His answer was dementors—darkness to counter darkness.

Gideon Prewett had snorted at that declaration. He and his brother had heard rumors that Voldemort was recruiting among magical creatures as well. He had an open treaty with the giants and had reached out to several werewolves. Surely he would continue with dementors soon—if he hadn't already.

"Remus?" She whispered to Howard, too quiet for others to hear.

"Later." He murmured. "Quietly." She nodded her agreement. Better to keep his condition secret than to announce that they had a werewolf contact so soon.

The conversation continued. Someone volunteered more information: the name of his followers.  _Death Eaters_. Lily shuddered. She wasn't the only one looking uneasy. Names were powerful things. Already people were fearing to say Voldemort's chosen name. Others were calling him 'Lord'.

"We need a name." Fabian said abruptly, looking around at the group. "Something official."

"You're right." Benjy Fenwick exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "A damn powerful name!"

"Something catchy."

"Simple." Gideon disagreed.

"Death Eater Eaters!" His brother shouted, laughing. Lily rolled her eyes, though she grinned as well.

"Justice Corps."

"Phoenix Rising—Dumbledore has a phoenix, right?"

"Wand Order."

"Rebel Law."

"Order of the Phoenix." Howard threw it out like it was no better than the other ridiculous names, but everyone paused, looking at him.

"The Order of the Phoenix." Fabian repeated slowly, a grin spreading on his face. Everyone said it, with slow nods and a growing sense of unity.

"To the Order!" They toasted their various drinks. Lily smiled with them all, but quietly, she couldn't help but think they were cheering their own deaths. How else would this war end but in death?

Names are powerful things. With a name, they had a purpose. It cemented in everyone's bones. They had an enemy with a name and a face; they knew his followers and they knew their purpose.

It was a cold, consuming fire.

Lily threw herself into plotting and planning. Her apartment went untouched—the boxes gathered dust as she spent more and more time at the Potter mansion. She trained with Howard every day and went on missions with him at night. Most of the time, the missions were incredibly boring. They staked out key locations, monitoring the comings and goings of Death Eaters. Occasionally, it turned into a fight. Lily collected scratches from those, which Grace invariably healed with much tutting and fussing. Howard was generally less roughed up, though he claimed it was her youthful exuberance that kept him from being hit—she was busy jumping in front of the curses while he was running away.

She no longer feared running into James at the mansion. The family had a tradition of Sunday dinners, which Lily pointedly avoided; and James was never around outside of that day. So it was an incredible surprise to turn away from the kitchen counter while reading a report to run into a solid wall of young man.

"Oof." She stumbled, catching herself on the counter.

"Hello Evans." Sirius Black said coolly, crossing his arms. The blood drained from her face, because there was no hiding now. She looked past him, unable to help herself. "He's not here."

"Oh?" Her chest tightened—was it disappointment? Relief?

"What I want to know is why  _you_  are here." Sirius growled. "Last I checked this was the Potters' home, and you're not dating James anymore…"

"Right on both accounts." Lily agreed icily, stepping around him. "I'm surprised, Black. Usually your record isn't that great."

"Back to that, are you?" He grabbed her arm, jerking her back. "What the fuck, Evans?"

"You'll upset Grace if we fight."

" _I said what the fuck?_ " Sirius exploded, shoving her roughly. "How dare you prance around here like you own the place after what you did to James?"

"What I did to him?" Lily cried, hands clenched. "Damn it—"

"You are a right piece of shit, Evans."

"Just  _shut up!_ " She shouted. "He knew better. He should have known better!"

"You  _destroyed_  him!" Sirius shouted, crowding into her. His face was dark with rage, and Lily felt tears burning in the back of her eyes. She'd done so good at not thinking about James in the last few weeks. She'd been busy with the Order and too exhausted at night to dream of him.

"You don't know  _anything._ "

"I'd offer to leave you two alone." Howard drawled from the doorway. "But that would appear to be a terrible idea." Lily jerked back, only just realizing that she'd been inches from Sirius.

" _How_ —"

"Don't you go shouting at me, boy." He shook his head. "Evans is welcome in my house same as you."

" _Why?_ " Sirius demanded, looking between them.

"She's a nice girl." Howard shrugged loosely, deliberately misinterpreting. "I've no reason not to welcome her."

"Oh really?" He snorted.

"If you don't approve, then you know where the door is." Howard said coldly, nodding towards it. "I have a working relationship with her, which means that she has to come here on occasion."

"You're retired."

"If you hadn't noticed, there's a war starting, Sirius. I can't afford to be retired."

"Evans isn't an auror." He bit out, determined to find a reason to see her kicked out.

"She doesn't need to be an auror to be useful." Howard snapped.

"Right." Sirius hissed, jerking towards the door. "She wouldn't be useful as one anyway." He stormed out, slamming the door in his wake. Lily closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Give me one good reason not to shout at you, too." She said conversationally, rage and depression pulsing through her equally.

"I didn't know he was here." Howard shrugged. "That's the best I've got, sunshine. Shout away."

"I hate you sometimes." Lily spun on her heel, abandoning him in the kitchen. Shouting at Howard Potter would be pointless. She knew well enough the dangers of spending time in the Potter mansion. It was a wonder she hadn't run into one of the Marauder's sooner. She stalked through the mansion, unable to shake her demons. She was surrounded by James—he grew up in these hallways. He'd been very privileged; though he'd never bothered to deny it. Lily found her way into a little alcove she'd found by accident a week ago. It was high in the mansion, giving her an incredible view of the surrounding landscape.

She nestled into the spot, knowing that she had a little over an hour to pull herself together before tonight's mission.

* * *

_"_ _So am I obligated to like you now?" Black asked as he flung himself carelessly into the open seat beside her._

_"_ _No." Lily grunted, scribbling out the end of her essay furiously. Damn James for getting her so distracted yesterday. "Marlene won't be happy if you take her seat."_

_"_ _Of course she'll be happy." He disagreed. "It'll give her all the chance she needs to deliver whatever speech you girls normally give to your friend's new boyfriend. I've simply spared her the effort of tracking him down."_

_"_ _I'm not sure I've told her we're dating." Lily admitted sheepishly, setting her quill down._

_"_ _Oh?"_

_"_ _I haven't seen any of them much." She blushed. "I've been…busy…with James."_

_"_ _Busy, is it?" Black smirked. "That what the kids are calling it these days?"_

_"_ _Sirius Black!" Lily cried, smacking his shoulder. "It's not_ just _that!"_

_"_ _Only mostly." His smirk widened as she sputtered. For once, he got the upper hand on her._

_"_ _Running her off already?" James demanded, stopping beside his best friend with his arms crossed._

_"_ _Nope." Black bounced to his feet. "Just keeping your seat warm for you Prongsie."_

_"_ _Sure, sure." James sat cautiously, clearly expecting some sort of prank. Lily tensed, wondering if it had all been a ruse. But nothing happened, and after a minute, James shrugged and relaxed. "Running off?" He asked anxiously._

_"_ _Not yet." She grinned. "But Marlene won't be happy you're in her seat."_

_"_ _Where is she anyway? Usually she's ridiculously early."_

_"_ _And you know this…why?"_

_"_ _Erm…" James coughed, cheeks reddening._

_"_ _Potter."_

_"_ _I may or may not have stalked her habits in hopes of trying to sit by you." He said really fast, wincing in the process. Lily narrowed her eyes at him, but quickly decided it wasn't worth fighting over. He hadn't managed to sit by her in over a year._

_"_ _You make a very poor stalker." She said, patting his shoulder sympathetically._

_"_ _Hey!"_

_"_ _What? You want to be a good stalker?" She laughed, aware that they were drawing stares from their classmates. Marlene was across the room, gaping at them with her mouth hanging open. Clearly, Lily hadn't mentioned her new boyfriend yet. James ruffled his hair nervously, saved from having to talk himself out of stalking ability by McGonagall's arrival. Lily smiled to herself, unsurprised to have a note fly over to her when McGonagall's back was turned._

What the hell? And I mean really. WHAT. THE. HELL. !

_Lily looked around James, sending a broad wink towards Marlene. She gestured furiously towards the paper in Lily's hand, obviously wanting some manner of response. Just because it was fun to make Marlene squirm, Lily deliberately shrugged and went back to paying attention to the lesson._

EVANS YOU ARE KILLING ME!

_"_ _Popular, are you?" James whispered as Lily choked down laughter. She showed him the two notes, and he snorted as well._

_"_ _She's incorrigible." Lily shook her head slightly, watching as James glanced across the room as well. Marlene was still staring. His gaze went to the front of the room, and Lily almost went back to her notes, assuming that he would do the same. Instead, he twisted quickly, planting a quick, chaste kiss on her lips. Lily started to reach for him before remembering that they were in the middle of class. "You're incorrigible." She grumbled. James winked broadly._

You just made Marlene faint.

_James did much worse at containing himself. He barked out a laugh, drawing attention to them as he showed her Sirius' note. Indeed, Marlene was picking herself up off the floor, slinking back into her seat with a red face. Lily choked down laughter, unable to say anything in response to McGonagall's scolding. It was her first detention in two years, but as soon as the professor's back was turned, she leaned over to give her boyfriend a quick kiss. She felt like she was floating on air._

_Marlene accosted her as they were leaving the class, dragging her none too gently back to Gryffindor tower for a "much needed talking to." Lily was giggling the entire way, flying too high to be brought down by confused friends._

_"_ _Was that a prank?" Marlene demanded as soon as the door was shut to the dorm. "Did he pay you to do that?"_

_"_ _No." Lily couldn't stop smiling. "We're dating."_

_"_ _You…" Her mouth dropped open, and Lily's grin widened._ _"'_ _I hate that stupid boy, Marle.'" She quoted in an exaggerated high-pitched voice. "'I'd rather date the giant squid than that prat'! What the bloody hell happened to you, Lily?"_

_"_ _He grew up." She defended. "He's been really great to work with this year, and I decided to give him a chance."_

_"_ _A chance? Lily Evans giving James Potter a chance? No way. Uh-uh, I'm not buying it. Details, bitch."_

_"_ _It was an accident, really." Lily sighed, sitting on Marlene's bed. "Snape—"_

_"_ _It's Snape now, too?"_

_"_ _He kissed me."_

_"_ _Oh gross." Marlene gagged. "What did you do?"_

_"_ _Bolted." Lily shrugged, looking away. "I dunno what possessed him, and he wouldn't stop—"_

_"_ _He_ raped _you?"_

 _"_ _No! Merlin, Marlene, he's not_ that _bad!" She couldn't help but defend Snape. She shook her head fiercely. "I told him to stop, and he didn't, so I stunned him."_

_"_ _Good girl."_

_"_ Marlene! _" Lily scowled. "Do you want to know what happened or not?"_

_"_ _Is this all relevant?" She snorted._

_"_ _Yes, because I went running from the dungeons and practically right into James' arms." She felt herself blushing, though this time, Marlene didn't try to interrupt. "I didn't tell him what happened for a week—really, I didn't mean to tell him at all, but… I wanted to get back at Snape, so I asked James to help me prank him."_

_"_ _You didn't."_

_"_ _I did, but we haven't actually gotten that far yet." Lily frowned, distracted. She'd forgotten all about pranking Snape since she'd started dating James. "I asked Potter, and then sort of started walking away, because he started asking about that day. He stopped, and we went down to Hogsmeade."_

_"_ _A date?"_

_"_ _No! It was_ not _a date." Lily snarled, though immediately thought her denial was too fierce for how that night ended. "Or at least it wasn't supposed to be. I ordered firewhiskey—"_

_"_ _Oh honey, haven't I taught you anything?"_

_"_ _No you haven't. So we both got pretty drunk, and James had some good ideas for pranks. I don't even remember how we got to it, but I told him that Snape kissed me; and then_ James _kissed me. And…"_

_"_ _You banged him in the Three Broomsticks?" Marlene guessed dryly._

_"_ _I'm not that crude." Lily snapped. "We were in his bed, at least." Her face was on fire. Marlene stopped with her mouth open to fire a retort. She gaped for a minute. "We sort of…slept together and then in the morning…" Lily waved a hand loosely. "It took us a few weeks to really sit down and talk about it. Then we decided to date, and yeah."_

_"_ _You had sex with him." Marlene said flatly. "And based your decision to date on how shaggable he is? Sweetie…darling… Do you remember last year? When I had my fling with Sirius Black and pretended to date him so we could keep shagging?"_

_"_ _This is different."_

_"_ _How?" Marlene demanded. "It's not that I'm not happy for you, Lily; but it sounds like you're making a terrible mistake here. I get it. Potter has been on your case for years, and I've heard all the talk too. He's supposedly great in bed, and I know you have needs too."_

_"_ _Marle…"_

_"_ _Don't make my mistakes, Lily!" She cried. "It's not enough to base a relationship on sex!"_

_"_ _It's not just that." Lily argued, though there had been an awful lot of it in the last few weeks._

_"_ _Have you gone out on a real date?" Marlene asked, frowning. "I haven't seen you holding hands in the hallway. This is the first day you've been at all cutesie with him."_

_"_ _Have I ever been cutesie with a guy?" She rolled her eyes. "And yes, we've gone back to Hogsmeade for a legitimate date. I'm happy, Marlene. Can't you just be happy for me?"_

_"_ _You've hated him for a long time, Lily." She shrugged. "It's weird that you're like this now. I'll be happy for you if you're sure this is what you want."_

_"_ _I'm very sure." Lily said firmly. But her mind was chasing itself in circles now. She excused herself quickly, wondering. Was it more than just sex? He hadn't really done anything extravagant yet. They'd gone to the Three Broomsticks once, but it had been a half-hearted effort at a date. They'd been shirking duties, enjoying a butterbeer rather than patrolling._

_"_ _What is this?" Black cried dramatically, flinging himself down on the couch beside her. "One of the great Heads descending from on high to mingle—"_

_"_ _Bugger off, Black." Lily growled. "This isn't the first time I've been in the Gryffindor common room if you hadn't noticed."_

_"_ _Heads' dorm is nicer." Peter shrugged, flopping down on an armchair. He shook his hair back with a sigh. "Though this is mighty nice."_

_"_ _Hey, Lily." Remus settled on the other armchair, retrieving a book from his bag._

_"_ _Hi, Remus. How are you?" The full moon was only two days away. She could see tension in his body._

_"_ _Same old story." He shrugged. "Well enough, I suppose."_

_"_ _Oi! Why do you call him 'Remus' and all I get is 'Black'?" Sirius demanded, scowling. "I'll have you know that Sirius is a perfectly wonderful name."_

_"_ _If you like stars and puns." Lily wrinkled her nose. "I dunno, Black. Some habits are hard to break."_

_"_ _Come on_ Lily _, if you're going to be dating Prongs, then I demand some respect here."_

_"_ _Sure thing Padfoot." She yawned, hoping that she wasn't overstepping herself by using his nickname. "But you know, I could really use some help."_

_"_ _Oh great." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Here come the demands."_

_"_ _I want to prank Snape." Lily announced, noticing that both Remus and Sirius tensed. "James and I keep getting distracted." She continued, almost regretting bringing it up. Something happened that she didn't know about._

_"_ _Looking for help, are you?" Sirius asked with forced casualness._

_"_ _Pranking seems to be your area of expertise." She shrugged. "Consider it my price."_

_"_ _Price for what?"_

_"_ _This." From the pocket of her cloak, Lily retrieved the Marauder's Map. All three of them started upright. "I nicked it from James about a week ago."_

_"_ _So that's where it went." Sirius grumbled, coiled like he meant to rip it from her hands._

_"_ _He told me you were having trouble with the last bit of the magic." Lily stated, guessing that she was getting him in trouble with his friends. Sirius was looking rather murderous. "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." Lily touched the tip of her wand to the parchment, enjoying the way the ink appeared and curved through the Map. Then, with a half glance to make sure Sirius wasn't going to punch her, Lily unfolded the Map._

_"_ _Merlin's shaggy pants!" He breathed, reaching without touching. His fingers hovered over the Map, eyes locked on the figures moving around. "You made it work."_

_"_ _I'm good at Charms." Lily shrugged, feeling inordinately proud of herself._

_"_ _I think I'm in love." Sirius gasped with a half laugh. He snatched the Map, leaping up to go running out of the common room. Lily watched him go with a smile, vowing to never mention her intention to prank Snape again._

_"_ _You know, you've already gotten to Snivellus." Peter commented, looking at her with a half-smile._

_"_ _What?"_

_"_ _You're dating James, aren't you?" He nodded slowly, waiting for her to catch on. Lily frowned, not understanding. "Snivellus won't be able to stand that. He hates James." Her mouth fell open because Peter was completely right. She couldn't have found a better way to hurt Snape if she tried. But… The victory wasn't as sweet as she wanted it to be. She felt terrible._

_"_ _That's not why I'm dating James." She said quietly._

_"_ _That's blindingly obvious." Remus laughed, sinking back into his chair. "You wouldn't look at him like that if this was all a ruse."_

Look at him like what? _Lily frowned, feeling like she was missing something. But the portrait hole swung open to reveal James and Sirius. They were a pair of excited schoolchildren over the success of the Map. James lifted her right off the couch, spun her around, and kissed her soundly right there in the middle of the common room. Lily laughed somewhat breathlessly, ignoring all the stares they were attracting._ _Lily Evans was kissing James Potter and laughing openly with the Marauders. The world was surely ending._


End file.
